lundi 4 août 2014

life is hard

I just wanted to say hi... or maybe not just hi.. I wanted to understand stuff that i was unable to figure out since February and talking to you is not even an option.  You refused to explain me why you left me, sorry, you gave me reasons but i really don’t think they are the real reason... Since February, i had issue forgetting you... getting over the relationship that was going in one direction only obliviously...   You gave me few reasons but after questioning myself and few close friends, yea i know, close friends are rare and you need to take care of them too... i find out that i had nothing  to be worried about since the only thing you could possibly be mad about is I didn’t spent enough time with you.  All the time i spent with you was not a chore, it was a gesture of happiness... eating on Fridays together, waking up in the morning next to you was a pleasure and most of all, talking about books and history was the best...  I sure miss those things but what i miss the most is the truth...  I have been fighting with stuff since March that I cannot control... Chloe had an extreme strong pneumonia; she was very close to die.....that was on my birthday.... Patrick had an emergency surgery... he was poisoning himself...he was 6hrs to be dead when they took him at the emergency room... yea I know, you probably don’t care about him since he is probably one of the reason you ditched me, cannot deal with someone that still have a good relationship with his ex family... sorry to be different but Pat and Anne are my seconds parents and no one will ever change that...
After a while, I tough I was ok... that i was able to browse your wall on facebook.. well nop! Even today August 4th... I cannot browse your page because it’s still hurt.. but the pain is not the same.. the pains is more a disgusting pain.. the feeling is deception... when you see someone that is so smart, so well educated, that have a background that would put someone else on their knees crying... no, you stood still and you fought...I am disappointed by what you gave me as a last impression, I thought you where very smart and no, you used a cheap way to stop our relationship.  well, I guess there is something in you that didn’t grow as fast as the rest, you are a beautiful person with an extremely open mind but there is something in you that is not quite ready for a real man, yea I’m sorry I consider myself a real man... a man who took care of his girlfriend like any other lady would have dreamed of, someone who would have build something with you that you would never dreamed of... sorry if it’s sound mean but I guess I need to give myself compliments if I want some since I rarely got some in the past, that little something I am not going to tell you because you know yourself better than me, it’s a personal opinion,  
I saw yesterday that you are in a relationship, that’s not why i wrote this post... but I hope you found the one who will understand you.. the one who can deal with your lifestyle, i hope he is the one who will make you smile and make you proud to show to your family... i really hope...

For me well.. my life is what it was before you, simple, living one day at the time....  but again, i think you don’t want to hear about it me since I never got any news from you since the last sms you sent me...

Life is what it is and i hope one day Ill be able to look back and being able to feel good about that part of my life...
Please don’t take this message in a negative way, my last goal is to offence you, I still think today that you are a smart person and i still deeply miss you in my life as a friend...


Take care....